A quest into the felt but not spoken about aftermath of the Holocaust

This documentary/film is made as part of a spiritual memoir. Carola is harvesting her life experience. The documentary found its final form with editing help from many friends, especially Rabbi Pam Frydman and Rabbi Goldie Milgram.

This documentary is a tribute to the Spirit of Jewish Renewal. It conveys the transformative power of  "doing Teshuvah out of Love" and the power of spiritual regeneration.


It is a piece of art. Carola weaves prayerful music and images of her transformative art making into her life story. Sharing her process of self transformation. She turns her story into a prayer flow. Prayer turns her story into a spiritual journey Home, through the dark.

A journey of consolation and redemption. Finding wholeness in brokenness. Returning to the light of the soul, again and again. Opening the gates of the Heart. A Home coming.


The documentary invites intimacy. To connect with one's own story. To reflect, feel, share,
re-frame similar life experiences, related to "aftermath's" of tragedies of dehumanization, imprisonments, displacements and betrayals.

It is all about purification ('karmic cleansing") and transmutation (bringing in the light), of/in dark emotions and fixed thought pattern/self images. Bringing art and soul into difficult life experiences. Daring to feel pain. Releasing "holding" and "hiding". Letting the  love, light, joy and beauty flow and grow. Allowing consolation and redemption to renew life. Give soul strength.


It is a beautiful hopeful "statement", that we can SHIFT out of fear-based identifying with
the Holocaust and "dangers", develop courage and compassion. We can soften our fate,

stop the drama and return to commit ourselves to the Source of Goodness.

It is about how a personal spiritual practice can empower one's soul journey.

To remember to return.





art making

Judaism as a path of transformation

centering in the light

inner work

return to the root of the soul




return to mother ground

retrieving the essence of love



return to the source of life

home in the light

in gratitude and joy

the divine inheritance retrieved




The film weaves 3 threads:


1.  The process of self transformation by doing Teshuvah out of Love

Returning to the root of the soul



in the Light

in Love

in Great Compassion

in the Spirit

the God spark


a selfless space


a seeing from the perspective of the Light that sees through the eyes and heart




deconstructing the story

returning to Source

remembering: 'The Soul is pure'

releasing pain and strife

de-taching from drama


a fearless space


a facing and blessing and discerning what is Rooted in Basic Goodness




finding wholeness in brokennes

feeling through all the manifestations

of the One

offering life experiences up

in prayer


a God centered space


a calling on the waters of healing



2  Facing and blessing the Presence of the Absent. Dealing with unfinished mourning.
Retrieving Love. Honoring ancestors. Purifying contaminations and confusions.
Return to Source.


3  Facing the void left behind. Facing the neatly restored houses. A facade. The past is vanished, my family story "non-existing".  The German way of remembering the nazi period and their Jewish fellow citizens did not include my family story.
I needed to to turn within: expressing being a Jew from the inside out.
Cutting through projections, identifications and old patterns.
The etchings express my transformative process of bringing color and life back to my ancestors. Blessing Life and aliveness. Restoring the capacity to feel and heal.


 If you like to know more or watch the whole documentary , please contact me.

Practical details of the documentary To Remember To Return

There are two dvd versions of approximately 1 hour:

•  Jewish Renewal style music

•  Traditional Jewish music, male voices only


You can find the musiclist in the booklet by downloading the pdf here  (1.7 mb)


The music woven into the film, may not be used without the images and the story. The music expresses the process of Teshuvah, the flow of prayer. The list in the booklet is meant to be used as reference.




In my "Art Book" (ISBN 978-908-24-681-44, September 2014) all the drawings and etching used in the documentary and in-depth interviews are bundled and printed.


To have a look, click here