August 11 2018


It is rosh chodesh Elul, the new moon august 11 2018. The Heat wave is over. The returning Home-inner work of Elul is beginning. To prepare for the Jewish new year to renew and bear new possibilities.

Inviting The Great Unfolding in.


I am



in the shadow

of the Platan Tree,


on my balcony

with wind and rain

finally blowing and cooling off, off, off





a branch with maple like leaves, tough and dry,

a dense spherical cluster of achenes, a seedball

hanging hairy and tight,

on, on, on

a stem





falling down in front of my feet

to greet



oh wondrous fruit

it is good to see you

and I pray: crack open

inside of me.


to brake up slowly

to release your numerous seeds


but it is still summer

not yet autumn to be seeded

not yet winter to wait


I take my color pens and crack the nut,

this gentle-man-ly face, this camouflage and mask.

headiness,  prickliness, glamor and victory


fall off, off, off


all the protectiveness of many lifetimes.


all this shrinking, cringing, recoiling, my stiff- upper- lip  melts.


Form is empty.

Emptiness shows forms,



Wrinkles and folds, yess

I am am-ming and hanging

hanging in there

aging and saging


contracting, expanding

holding, moistering and pausing.


moving deeper

moving in


Through Time and Space.

un-covering, letting

Life, a Process


June 2018


It is june 6, the moon is growing, the sun shines bright.

I am in Veenhuizen, up north in Drenthe.In the Netherlands.I am in The old “strafkolonie”, the unfree colony, prisons, borstal and houses to put away tramps and criminals. From the 18th century up until recent (refugees/detention center too). A “put away place”.


The place is as large as a big village in nowhere. Forest and poor land all over. But the Times are Changing.

Exept for one prison still functioning, there is now a “prison museum” for visitors who can buy a prison outfit for fun.!!! Au , Oh, ohhhh. There are restaurants and a Hotel with the name “Bitter-sweet”. Many buildings (formally for custodians, jailors and sick people) are empty now. I am invited to join my friend Helga a graphic designer and artist, to use my etching-press I gave her, and work in her rented studio. A lot of buildings are asking for a new use. Some artist and crafts people are renting a studio. I play with “linoleum cutting and coloring”, making prints. looking through the window and seeing trees and prison bars. Looking in, in my heart, asking, where am I from?

Where am I from?


I am

from the stars and the sun and a cosmic sea


I am

from in between up high and deep below


I am

from female giants with invisible hands and feet


I am

from a dancing Big tree, meant to be free


I am

from Source connected to the waters in the well in

the cave of the Heart in the Center


I am

from a history now gone, and still there are houses build

as prisons and the past is kept alive. Am I still imprisoned?


I am here to let the Light in and to setup a ladder

I am here to call on the angels and let the healing begin


“Light my Fire” I sing

remembering where I am from



In Your light do I see light


kindling the Light, I know:


I am from YOU


and my fire is glowing.


I hear Rabbi Shefa Gold chant:  Ki Attah Tahir Neri  from psalm 18   (Oh, You light my fire)

Still resonating with the beautiful poem by David Zaslow’s granddaughter Amaya, 8 years old  “I am From”, which I had read on facebook.

With special thanks to Rabbi David Zaslow.

May 27 2018


Morning meditation


In the fullness of warm spring/summer light shining bright


Breathing Blessings. Blessing my breathing.

I am. I am just attuning and aligning. In the mystery of life.

praying: may I become this „menorah”, "yah menauwer”.
A Lamp-stand for Your Light.


I hear my heart beat beating,

I feel my heart’s breath

in my chest

breathing, in out, up out


resting, releasing, easing


my hand and arms draw green

greening, branching, treeing

my eyes are softly softening.

the heart is opening


hearing inside:


listen listen, listen……..


"listen, listen, listen to my heart’s song

I will never forget you,

i will never forsake you."


This chant is written by Paramahansa Yogananda,I remember it sung by rabbi David Zeller.  See: Path of the Heart CD:


Indeed: God’s out breath is my in breath, my out breath is God’s in breath.

January 31 2018

Songs of Trees

The Songs of Trees drawings honor the new year of Trees celebration January 31 2018. Tu b’shvat.  The full moon is in Leo.The saps are rising, from below. The light it getting stronger, nourishing the Source deep in the earth and high above. We are honoring the fertility of fruit trees, by eating and blessing the fruits and planting seeds. It is the season of the end of winter and not yet the outbreak in spring (Pesach). It is the return of Light/Life, it is letting go of winter dark inwardness. Time for cleansing, rooting and grubbing. To loosen up. Preparing the ground (of being) for rebirth.

Abiding in/with the womb of mother earth. Participating in the creation process.

Later in February, Purim will happen: the turning upside down, and revealing the hidden free-ing power of life……


(Inspired by The Songs of Trees by David George Haskell.)

June 20 2017

New Background color


In searching for a new more clear and deep BACKGROUND color for this website, I suggested 'cyclamen red'. A sort of red which contains deep purple and white.

Helga, the webmaster and I liked it. And as I always do searched 'Cyclamen red' on internet:


Ohhhh,  what a true attunement reveals itself: This Love Dance. This Deep Truth seeking. Circling on. And so intimate, delicate passionate erotic…


I hear Esther Ofarim singing "oteret la keter varod”, "crowns her with a pink crown”…… Keter, the crown, the encircling, embracing, all pervading unconditional Love/Light.

And then: "nisteret mi nefesh kol chaj”, "hiding from everything” says the translation.

But my understanding is, this nistar, this hiddenness…. (there are nistariem, the hidden ones, guiding me, initiating me into this unconditional pure Love/Light).

And "nefesh kol chaj” is like nishmat kol chaj, all that breathes life………

And again: this cyclamen red, peeps out for a moment…….

off the rock on her chest, and the wind fondles……  ruach lotefet…..



Rakefet LyricsRakefetMitachat lasela tzomachat lefeleRakefet nechmedet me'odVeshemesh mazheret nosheket oteretOteret la keter varod Lalala... Rakefet rakefet tzipor metzaftzefetHatzitzi ach rega elaiRakefet nehederet basela nisteretNisteret minefesh kol chai Lalala... Yatz'a I'm haruakh bat-sheva lasuachHaya az haboker bahirKol Tzemach kol perach osefet baderechUfiah ach zemer vashir Lalala... Misela vageva yoredet Bat shevaRakefet chen al hechazeTzipor metzaftzefet veruach lotefetVesof kvar lazemer haze Lalala... --- CyclamenUnder the rock grows like a wonderA very cute CyclamenThe shining sun kisses itAnd crowns her with a pink crown Cyclamen, the bird whistlesLook at me for a minuteBeautiful Cyclamen hiding under the rockHiding from every thing Bat sheva went out for a walkThe morning was brightShe collected every flower and plantHer mouth full with a song Batsheva sings, Cyclamen speeds uppeeps out for a momentwho is looking at me here?That's Cyclamen Bathsheva gets closer slowly Bat sheva gets off the rockA beautiful Cyclamen on her chestA bird whistles the wind folndlesAnd this song comes to an end. --- Rakefet | רקפתמתחת לסלע צומחת לפלארקפת נחמדת מאוד,ושמש מזהרת נושקת, עוטרת,עוטרת לה כתר ורוד! רקפת, רקפת, ציפור מצפצפת",הציצי אך רגע אלי!"רקפת נהדרת בסלע נסתרת,נסתרת מנפש כל חי! יצאה עם הרוח בת שבע לשוח,היה אז הבוקר בהיר:כל צמח, כל פרח אוספת בדרך,ופיה אך זמר ושיר מסלע וגבע יורדת בת שבע,רקפת חן על החזה..ציפור מצפצפת ורוח לוטפתוסוף כבר לזמר הזה! 


Enjoy !!! ...and what is in the color, my cyclamen red,  this rose madder, or alizarin crimson red coming from a rubia plant.


How 'cyclamen red' shines through  a rose bush, weeds, a peony and a foxglove. Unfolding.


"No longer leaning toward one form of life (attachment) and away from another (aversion) allows psychic energy to flow from our imagination into reality

and transforms our ordinary existence into the sacred."

Rodney Smith, 'From Thought to Stillness'


The Ordinary Is Sacred (from Tricycle the Daily Dharma)

April 2017

the forest blues



the partita no 1 in B minor by Bach

tumbles down through headphones into my ears

icy white hail falls down in front of my eyes in my forest

drip drip, drip

dripping, stopping, melting.


The wind blows

the clouds move on,


a clear blue sky looks at me

me, tearing the forest down into pieces.

taking the fallen drops,

bunching them into a bundle

with blue eyes.


The green mantle kisses my mouth.

Bitterness is turned into a sweet messy jungle smile.


Is it? am I smiling ?


today, april 25 2017 it is the new moon in Taurus, Rosh Chodesh Iyar :

Iyar, the month of sweetening the bitter water,

of the right amount of nourishment, the Manna falling down,

the radiance of the sun getting brighter and warmer,


the sonata in 2 A minor by Bach

vibrantly takes me on, on the journey,

on, on, on

tearing, stopping, melting


letting the wind blow,

letting this month teach me each day

to smile a little bit more.


March 2017


Springtime on Ameland the Netherlands.




My "Art Book", the bundling of all the drawings and etching used in the documentary and in-depth interviews just came from the printer.

It is fall time, harvest time. Time to  face and bless "this abundance".


How beautiful it is to let my art speak my heart.

Wounds and the healing/wholing made visible as wonders.

The images express the process, rather then a completion. I am not "drawing conclusions".  In fact one can look at my drawings as chaotic, too full, or too fuzzy, too 'wishywashy' , or too this and that. You may. And, yes, and I like you to open your heart and sense, see, feel from there, receive the invitation to open the gates of the heart and allow whatever presents itself to touch you. I pray that the healing power of transformative art making gets transmitted to you through the images, words and theme's.


May you be able to look at, contemplate, and commune with all the drawings and mono-prints of etchings related to the inner work. To acknowledge " drawing  seeing and feeling".  Bringing art and heart into difficult life experiences. Moving on. The spiritual journey home.


In the future I intend to use it as raw material for autobiographcal writing, visual journeying, and  the harvesting and distilling of "seeds of wisdom" in the context of creating one's  own spiritual legacy. Enjoy!


ISBN 978-908-24-681-44.  It is self published. You can buy it.

You can see the artbook here.